What tipped you off? The sombrero?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
