it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
