i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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