tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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