Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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