My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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