So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
