forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
should my penis look like a turkey
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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