Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
