and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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