Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
