I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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