I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
