i just made my gag reflex go away.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
