Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
