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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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