I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
