i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
