dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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