I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
