I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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