Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
