As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
