I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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