Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
