this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
