This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
