So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize