What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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