i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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