No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm at about main and main street
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
