i just wanna soil my oats bro
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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