Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry about my life...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
