The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize