U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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