so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
