I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize