Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
