So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize