My brain says no but my pants say off.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
