Umm I'm too high to move.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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