just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Shame is for Republicans.
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