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This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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