Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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