he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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