Don't you send me to vm
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
