He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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