my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize