So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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