hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
