i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yo dont text me then not text me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
