i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
