I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
