mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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