I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
