So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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