and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
