Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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