would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
