my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
