I just cut my nipple shaving
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
