If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
