Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
